messing anxiety issues

[99gems]

I hope noone minds me keeping coming back to this thread as its very handy for me to keep as a kind of diary..

So all clean and dry since the 30th until today, so 6 days.

Last night all chaos broke loose at home on the farm with a veterinary emergency. She was out first thing as usual, had a good run in the field with the others. I had realised I had a very sick pony after being up all night with it and asked hubby to please make sure she was out every couple of hours as I had to take the pony to an equine hospital. In the hours I was away (5 ish) she was clean and dry and went out for hubby no probs. I arrived home and walked into the utility room, albeit a bit tired,stressed and upset and went straight through the house. 5 Minutes later my son came to tell me she had dirtied all over her cage. Argh! So obviously me coming in and not going straight to her was the cause, but sometimes (like today) life means I cant!

[munstyman]

You said yourself, the atmosphere was `stressed and upset' and I would bet that this rather than the lack of `attention' on your return is the more significant factor in her accident. Dogs are very sensitive to your emotions than some realise, and one could argue an anxious dog even more so. See it for what it is, a minor set back, don't dwell on it as it could compound the issue. Your making very good progress so don't be too hard on yourself.

[99gems]

thank you munstyman, your words are appreciated.
The day after this she vanished when out in the front paddock with me and the other dogs. I found her in the utility room, IN THE BELFAST SINK (!) gobbling down the raw food that was in there defrosting! Needless to say we had several accidents following this. It's like she just can't help herself, she is so biddable and understands what's required of her. Im not a novice with dogs and my others (and previous dogs) just simply wouldn't dream of doing such a thing! She didnt get fed on Sat, of course. Today she has had a lovely roe-deer leg to chew all day and is currently asleep on my feet. No messes.

[newf]

You haven’t inadvertently taught her that “messing” seems to bring you back? What’s your reaction when you discover the mess? Putting things together rightly or wrongly is a dog’s talent.

[99gems]

i dont think so... but it's definitely one I'll think on more and be aware of.
whats my reaction (LOL) tbh it's been going on so long now it varies from muttering under my breath to tears, to many expletives to sheer hysteria and rocking in a corner with a bottle of gin !
Seriously, I usually try to remain impassive, put her straight out into the yard on her own and shut the door while I clean up

[munstyman]

You haven’t inadvertently taught her that “messing” seems to bring you back? What’s your reaction when you discover the mess? Putting things together rightly or wrongly is a dog’s talent.

Not only in dogs
I found that in the past I would try and `understand' why my dogs did what they did, and most of the time I got lucky But there were times I was completely stumped, and the more theories I came up with, or were given, the more of a muddle I got myself in, all of which did not do anything to solve the issue. I quickly realised that with all the possibilities with widely varying solutions I was at risk of applying the wrong solution more than the right by over thinking it.
This probably explains why I have moved to the `ignore the bad' method of training I now deploy. When something goes wrong I tend to just note it and the circumstances it occurs and focus on finding a solution and initially just change the `circumstances'. By rewarding the correct behavior when it happens I believe you give a more consistent message to the dog than any negative response you give when it does the unwanted. No matter how good a trainer you are your negative response will be effected more by little inconsistencies driven by your mood than by your intent. As newf said dogs don't always get the right message or the one we think they get. As the smarter ones in the partnership we have to remember that and try harder.

It's like she just can't help herself, she is so biddable and understands what's required of her. Im not a novice with dogs and my others (and previous dogs) just simply wouldn't dream of doing such a thing!

You forget she is just a dog, dogs take their opportunities, dogs with noses take them more often I've had `counter surfers' and dogs that never showed any interest of whats up there... till the one time the Sunday roast is left un attended and I'm distracted on the phone Who knows how long she had `dreamed' of that moment It shows that all that trust devotion and love you think they have for you is still nothing more than a full stomach to a dog

[99gems]

munstyman i love your intelligent approach and yes, of course , you are right!

[99gems]

well.. an update .

I feel I failed in what I set out to do, however I homed her with a gundog trainer - after a lot of research into who the person is. He trials on a National team and teaches other people. We met up and walked the dogs together and he really liked her so I let her go, on the understanding if she didnt settle she was to come home. She settled into life in a kennel and run instantly and im getting lots of lovely updates.

thank you so much everyone on here who offered so much advice and didnt judge

[newf]

Well, that’s unfortunate...but maybe the best if the situation was overwhelming.

[munstyman]

Whilst I can understand why you personally feel like you failed, I would take the view that you did right by the dog and have actually succeeded in all that really matters.
You had a problem with the dog but when you were at a loss you reached out to a wider source of information ... take it from me there are many who put there own pride before doing that, and the dog ends up losing. So not a fail.
You could have rehomed the dog onto an unsuspecting home, or rescue centre and passed the problem on, sadly an all too uncommon solution for many! So not a fail.
You've researched a new home and have kept in touch with the settling in process. By all accounts the new owner is happy and is building a good relationship with the dog and the dog is showing it is happy in its new environment. Definitely not a fail in my book.
We have to remember that not all relationships are meant to be. You can put a lot of work into making it work and get a sort of solution but other times all you do is drive the relationship further apart. If by moving the dog on and it finds a new relationship that works, whilst you could take a selfish view and do yourself down for not being the `one', or you can be happy for the dog and its new life. Indeed you can concentrate on the relationships you still have that may have been neglected whilst you struggled with that dog. No one person has all the answers, those that appear to, just have not come across their limitations yet A Munsterlander anyone?