Jokes

[Si19761]

[Judy]

I first heard that one about 40 years ago but it's still quite funny !

Wullie

Once you get to certain age you've heard 90% of them before......

Judy

[t jack]

I first heard that one about 40 years ago but it's still quite funny !

Wullie

Once you get to certain age you've heard 90% of them before......

Judy

[trekmoor]

Are you lot trying to insinuate sumfin ?

Wullie

[scottishquine]

TO: ALL MALE TAX PAYERS
FROM: INLAND REVENUE
SUBJECT: INCREASED TAX PAYMENTS

The only thing the inland revenue has not taxed is you willy. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up and 10% of the time it is employed but operates in total darkness.
Furthermore, it has two dependants and they are both nuts. Accordingly after the 1st April 2009 your willy will have to be taxed of it’s size using the “willy checker scale”

Determine your category and insert the additional tax under “other taxes”, Part v, fig 69.
Willy checker scale:
10 – 12 inches Luxury tax £100
8 – 9 inches pole tax £75
6 – 7 inches privilege tax £50
4 – 5 inches disability tax £25

Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund, do not apply for an extension. Males with willies in excess of 12 inches shoule file under “capital gains”, or join a circus.

Yours very truly


IVOR DANGLER HM INSPECTOR OF TAXES

[Judy]

If under 4" please put a white flag with a red cross on your car so that the tax man knows not to bother you

Judy

[Sal]

I think the tax is a sir charge?

[shanagan]

If under 4" please put a white flag with a red cross on your car so that the tax man knows not to bother you

Judy

I think its correct that if its 3" or under you have to have two St George cross flags one each side of the vehicle !!!!!

[Judy]

There's a lot of them about here! Do you think its inherited or just a tax dodge?

Judy

[trekmoor]

Are O.A.P.s exempt from this charge or do they get taxed per wrinkle instead ?

Wullie