Jokes

[scottishquine]

Oh dear Wullie....... every wrinkle is taxable!!! but you must promise to not put a St George Flag on it!!

[Rascal]

Are O.A.P.s exempt from this charge or do they get taxed per wrinkle instead ?

Wullie

Sounds like you need to get the "soup dragon" to iron it Wullie.

Rascal

[scottishquine]

Are O.A.P.s exempt from this charge or do they get taxed per wrinkle instead ?

Wullie

Sounds like you need to get the "soup dragon" to iron it Wullie.

Rascal

[Eric Morecambe]

Got a Chinese last night & on the way home in the car I heard the bag rustling. I looked over, seen a pair of eyes looking out the top of the bag, then they disappeared. Could'nt believe it.
I carried on driving home when it happened again. I was so shocked I nearly crashed the car. I looked over and there were the eyes looking at me, then disappeared.
I went back to the Chinese to and said " What the hell is going on with my takeaway I ordered"
Chinese man replied " You no worry, its only Peking Duck "

[Eric Morecambe]

I tell you what, my eyesight is getting worse everyday ...

Last week I went to post a letter and ended up blinding a muslin woman ...

[tinker]

hello everybody .this is not a joke but i thought it was brilliant ,myself and a friend went fishing on llandegfedd reservoir we spoke to the bailiff he said we haven't stocked it ,so of we went in the boat as we were rowing out we could see alot of little bubbles we said there they are we rowed over tried a couple of different flies but nothing then they disapeared we spotted them again about 100 yards away off we went after them again thrashing the water like two mad men ,they disapeared again ,then we spotted them again over by the far bank we rowed over again changed flies and thrashed them again still nothing ,then all of a sudden a big pile of bubbles came up and we nearly fell out of the boat laughing it was pontpool sub aqua team we could'nt row the boat for laughing .

[hornet]

what flies do you reccommend for scuba divers?

[smudge04]

what flies do you reccommend for scuba divers?

Probably a waterproof zip, buttons wouldn't work so well.....

[Eric Morecambe]

Ernie and I got thrown out of the local mosque the other day …
We were stood there during prayers …... and …..... well …...

We just could'nt help ourselves ….

Everyone loves a good game of leapfrog !!!

[nickanderson]

what do you call a fish with no eyes?!






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