Judy wrote:This is a gundog training forum, feel free to make useful contributions to the rest of the threads.......
well said Judy , sometimes sarcasm is even funnier than a joke Jokes
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Eric Morecambe
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Re: Jokes
Ooooooo hit the nerve there ha ha ha ...Judy wrote:This is a gundog training forum, feel free to make useful contributions to the rest of the threads.......
Will do Judy
"My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."
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Eric Morecambe
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Re: Jokes
The gang has started on me ....Stealth wrote:Judy wrote:This is a gundog training forum, feel free to make useful contributions to the rest of the threads.......
"My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."
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Eric Morecambe
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Re: Jokes
Ok, OkStealth wrote:the secret of a good joke EM is
TIMING !
Here we go then ......
I knew a girl who wanted a boob job but could'nt afford one so she got her Uncle too make some out of pine,
It would be good if I had a punchline to this ....
Wooden tit .....
"My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."
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086*downey
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Re: Jokes
A guy is driving around Dublin and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale ." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yes," the Lab replies.
"So, what's the story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda(Irish police) about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no-one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten euro," the man says
"Ten euro? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a feckin' liar. He never did any of that sh*te."
"Talking Dog For Sale ." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yes," the Lab replies.
"So, what's the story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the Garda(Irish police) about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no-one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed.He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten euro," the man says
"Ten euro? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a feckin' liar. He never did any of that sh*te."
Re: Jokes
Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure dead brilliant," says Jimmy.
"Av goat everythin organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that.
Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "Ah imagine she'll be in white
"Och, it's all goin' pure dead brilliant," says Jimmy.
"Av goat everythin organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that.
Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "Ah imagine she'll be in white
In life, it is important to know when to stop arguing with people and simply let them be wrong.
Re: Jokes
Judy wrote:Two Glaswegians, Archie and Jimmy, are sitting in the pub discussing Jimmy's forthcoming wedding.
"Och, it's all goin' pure dead brilliant," says Jimmy.
"Av goat everythin organised awready, the fluers, the church, the caurs, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma stag night".
Archie nods approvingly.
I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jimmy.
"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's magic, you'll look pure smart in that.
Whit's the tartan?"
"Och," says Jimmy, "Ah imagine she'll be in white
